Saturday

So, I don’t remember yesterday much. Today I went to work. This morning Kevin text and said he won’t be out in the afternoon. Later Sarah text that I am working with her and Tay at 1:30. Then she proceeds to say I should give her money for gas since she down to a quarter tank and she had helped me when I was without a car but didn’t ask for money even though everyone said she should.                             I was so P.O.’d. When I didn’t have a car I had money and wasn’t short handed. I offered to her, but the few times she did give me a ride it was cuz it is on the way and at a convinient time for her, other wise i got a ride from my mom even when it was not convinient for her. When I borrowed MIlee’s car I filled the tank even though she was finding change for me to put in the tank… so sweet. When I borrowed Dylan’s car I put twenty in even though turned out to have a leak and was empty in couple days. I buy food for Sarah if we eat out and I just spent $100 at Wal-Mart buying some stuff just for her ie I don’t use IB Prophen or stain remover. That is all in the past, the present is that she works more often and is paid $1.25 or $1.50 more per hour than me. True it is my choice to work fewer hours, but why is she always broke? I have bills and still have money.              Besides, it is a sacred service to use your resources in the LOrd’s work. You can accept donations, but to ask and expect people to pay you is not right. I have a car I am willing to use if they want to ride in it. Anyway’s I am just venting. Ultimately I think the comment was perhaps her own frustrations coming out as a result of Satan trying to tear people apart. We are all close here and sometimes it seems too close. The whole love triangle things is weird to me. Sarah liked Kevin who liked Taylor. Sarah turns to Taylor for solace. Maybe I’m odd, but I would not be seeking solace from the very person getting affection from the person breaking my heart. Plus she was always there when they were trying to get aquainted, which made it acward and difficult for them. Not to mention twising the knife in her own heart. But suposedly it is all resolved now. and everyone is suposedly friends. Somehow in all this I got left out of the friend loop.

So, I can’t be with Stephen cuz he is smoking, not going to meetings, a pervert, and lives far away. I can’t be with David cuz he does not go to meetings, gets drunk, and gets depressed. I can’t be with Dylan cuz he is too young, doesn’t like me, and has personality issues. I don’t know of anyone else. Mom is officially moving to Iowa so maybe I can meet someone there. The assembly is coming up, so hopefully I can meet someone there. If not……….Maybe I can crawl in a hole and well I don’t want to die but idk. Bethel would be wonderful but second choice is moving to Mexico or somewhere. Scary I know. Everything would be better with a husband.Ok nuf for now. I need to study for tomarow. I just baked enchilladas. Not sure if I will be throwing them in the trash or not.

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