trouble and heartbreak

So this weekend was so wonderful and then the bubble burst or rather exploded. I thought as long as David and I didn’t sleep together before marriage we’d be ok. But turns out I can’t marry him unless he is baptized or as Grandma said I won’t be under Jehovah’s unbrella of protection and I would lose my privledges including pioneering. I said that is my button. I won’t give up pioneering! I love David so much, but Grandma suggested waiting 6-8 months without communicating and see how he has progressed and how we both feel then. So by winter , If he is an unbaptized publisher maybe we can talk a little and after he is baptized we can get married and start out lives together. I can’t wait for him to hold me in his arms, to kiss my lips, to say he loves me and it all be okay. Almost everytime he texts me I pick up the phone just before the text comes in. Of any man I’ve ever known, this is different and I can tell he is my other half. I will talk with Jason and Robin tonight at 6 to discuss what has been done so far, what needs to be done, and how they can help and pray for me. I’d better take tissues. The thought of not talking to David brings a sinking feeling to my stomach and tear to my eyes. I know it is for the best and out of love but it is not easy. At first I felt like he was a blessing from Jehovah, but grandma suggested he is a trap from Satan so that I will break my Dad’s heart. I still think David is a blessing and that maybe Jehovah is using me and this situation to finish drawing David out to serving God. Ok I need to nap, style my hair, finish getting ready for meeting. Not usually tonight, but memorial is sunday so this week is crazy. Oh i’m not really going to nap, i’m going to plug my phone in and talk some more with david before my elder’s meeting. does that sound wrong? well he still is not completely understanding the gravity here and I don’t want to lose him. I love him so much. Hey my mom is calling me about my car. my tires are in. I will call tomarow and see if I can get in thursday since i’m off work. they can’t bid on house till loan worked out in 60 days. ok.


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