So tuesday Sarah left for work in Bloomington. She sent me a pic of the hotel bathroom. lol. I text back ‘fancy?’ That night was lonely. I didn’t sleep at all. wednesday I was going to Peoria with mom but she was too tired. Well it was pay day and my new chech card came in the mail so I went shopping anyway. I went to East Peoria to fashion bug and walmart. I got a few new shirts and a blazer for work. I think I mentioned that in an audio. well I picked David up from work and we ate wendy’s for supper, walked around the book store and laughed at his drunk friend. That was the first best day of my life. thursday I went out in service all day and then to the meeting. That night I didn’t sleep again. Friday I went to work. That morning and at lunch I talked with Mona on the phone. She was over at her brother’s for the weekend and knew I’d been there cuz I forgot my clothes since I decided to shower at the apartment instead. She was concerned that if I came over while she there, she is not approved as a shapperone. well I told her I didn’t want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable. I also mentioned the situation with David from a scriptural standpoint. For instance, since we don’t have self control it is better that we marry. She was cool, so I planned to go and cook supper. When I got there David was asleep on the couch and since I was hungry I started cooking. He woke up and was saying hello when Mona got back from across the street. She had forgot and ate at grandma’s but would try a few bites. Yum!! Saturday I had to work. That night I went with everyone to Karaoke.Fun! I love that. Sunday I planned to take david and mona to the meeting and then take mona home, but I didn’t know the meeting was at 930 so we thought we’d go to the other hall at 1:00 but couldn’t find it so we ate lunch and went back to the park hall for the 230 meeting. I always think it neat when the talk goes along with the watchtower. Well Mona didn’t want to go home yet so since I had Monday off work that was okay with me. david was complaining of pain and weakness in his hands and wanted to go to dr but it’s so busy on weekends that when he overslept monday he decided to take a sick day off work and go in to get his hands looked at. After that is friend took us to a pizza place with the biggest pies i’ve never seen. Then we took mona home. I went to work yesterday and then mom invited me over for steak and cheesy potatoes. YUmmmm!!! Today at work I looked at my throat in the mirror cuz it been hurtin a little when i swollow. white spots=step=contagious for 2-3 weeks without antibiotic. so i went to dr. to get Rx. Now I’m broke. but at least i will only be contagious another 24 hours. So… the drama during the week. Sarah leaves. I guess she flipped in her bipolarness. she gets back and decides to think I’m missing. she calls everyone i know and then spreads rumors on facebook. yeah facebook was specifically mentioned at two or three assemblies as something to cautiously avoid. while i was alittle late, i did delete mine. i know alot of ppl are on it. but i can keep in touch with real friends and with family other ways. If she is really upset with me I dont’ understand why she won’t talk to me. That is after all the first step outlined in the scriptures. I’m noticing a lot of hypocrites around me. Sarah, Mona, Milee, Taylor, Dylan, … The elders are right, i do need to reevauate who my frinds are. My bestest friedns are: Jared and Kayla Stensrud in Tulsa Oklahoma, David Barr of Peoria Illinois, Jehovah God Soverign of the Universe. I moved back cuz I missed Margurite, but she doesnt call text visit or talk to me. So close by I have no friends. I can’t wait to marry David so I can have him to tell everything to everyday. Plus I love him. Well alot of words for now. Not sure what will happen next time I talk to the Elders. I have sinned, but i’m not sorry or ashamed. It has brought me and david closer. When I am with him I feel llike I am finally where I fit in and belong. I am not depressed or suicidal like I was. I am Happy. My mom has heard about sarah since we moved in together and knowing me and my disposition she thinks sarah must be a terrible person for me to not want to be around her. I don’t talk bad a bout ppl and i like sarah but seeing from another’s view i understand better. Mom is just concerned where will I live? well if we get things going, I will live with my husband. He did officially propose, so it is not presumptuous of me to say so. He knows I love him and want to sleep next to him all my life. especially since I can’t sleep without him. Last night I was so cold and lonely and tonight I bet will be the same. He works karaoke Saturday again, but I’m going to try and see if Sarah wants to go to karaoke at the Lewistown park building Saturday. Maybe a chance to make peace. I don’t like to dwell on negativeness (bad for health) so just like my credit card bills i can’t afford to go bankrupt on yet, I am putting this in God’s hands and letting go. I made efforts with her and am leaving it at that. I may go to spanish sunday but I should go to lewistown so I can turn in my April service time. I need to write alot of letters this week since I can’t get out and I’m already behind. I need 15 hours to reach my 50. I can get a long day in tomorrow and that will be helpful. I think since I need to call into a meeting anyway, I will call into Tulsa and hear my friends’ voices. My family may be here, but that is where I feel my home is. Next time I move away, I will have no reason to come back. I llike the congregation we visited sunday. I had went there once before and thought it was nice. They are not real friendly but sometimes that’s a nice switch. at least they ain’t cold or uptight. well ok enough for now. GOod night sweet heart good night.