calming down

I guess sarah is at work again. I went for a run around the trail. wow I am out of shape. I mean I ran the whole thing but my chest hurt and afterward my legs were shaking. maybe it’s cuz I been sick. yeah i’ll just say that. then i put a load of towels in the wash and walked down to dollar general with the gas money my mom gave me and bought laundry soap and fabreze cuz I had a coupon. walked back and put a load of clothes in and washed the dishes. chips and dip for supper and a movie. It’s called pursue goals that honor god. it was still in the wrapper. Timothy is telling a young man about how he struggled to become a christian and serve god. His dad was greek and wanted him to make money. his mom was a jew who became a christian. Timothy was encouraged by a visit from Paul. I have always been encouraged by Jeff and Dawn Hacker. They like languages like I do. I studied the Bible with her and he was one of my ASL instructors. They are now missionaries in Bulgaria and the experiences they e-mail me are so encouraging. I want to write them back and have good news to tell them. After I finish studying I should call Kayla. Tell her how I’m not going to talk to David until he is baptized as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. As Jason said if I havn’t already, I’m going to hit rock bottom before this is all over. For now we are keeping everything quiet. If only everyone on Facebook would stop talking and insinuating stuff that is not supposed to be public knowledge. What happens in the bedroom is between two people. David knew I didn’t want to have sex until after we are married, but he didn’t help me resist. He just led me into sin. But it is not his fault. I knew better. Anyways, I’m too tired to go for another run so I’d better put him back away in my heart and out of my mind for now. Yes, I am his. But I cannot not be taken without a price. I didn’t put value on myselt, but God already had. and my older “Brothers” are making sure it gets paid. Step one: say “sorry”, that is repentence. Step two: turn around that is show by actions how I feel. Ok, I need to finnish studying. I just had to clean up this pig sty a little. I can’t think when my environment is a mess. Yeah I left it clean btw. I love David.

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