So Frazzled

Wow again meant to post to this blog and it went to old…ugh. OK. Copy, Paste, Read…

Last night I went to get groceries. I first went to Wal-mart for baby wipes and the store was all disarray as they were re-modeling. A good thing I suppose and it didn’t affect much which sections I needed. I walked through the clothes looking for deals and found some good ones. Tank for $1.00! Today as I tried on my “deals” I remembered my previous resolution and why that it isn’t really a deal if I’m not going to wear it because it’s not that attractive or because it doesn’t fit. Well shopping at night the dressing room was closed and being clearance items sizes were limited. I only selected those I thought were cute and would fit, but I was mistaken. I am wearing the tank today but not sure about the rest of my investments. Guess finding money I’d hidden isn’t a good find when I “blow” it. Anyways then I went over to the 24hr Kroger for food only to find they’d be closing at 11pm tonight for waxing and it was already 10:30! The girl said it was fine to go ahead on in but I quickly found out I would not be getting all my shopping done. The waxing guys had started early so dairy and frozen foods were roped off. Fortunately milk, for some reason was not located with the cheese and yogurt so I did get my number one list item. Shredded cheese however would not make it into my cart. I managed to quickly meander my way through isles I am unfamiliar with (as I usually shop at the location by my home that is not 24hr). The clerk proceeds to announce the countdown as I make my way to the front. I see all the self-checkouts are open, amazingly. But I need a real one as I had some WIC items. I track down someone to check me out as the clerk over the PA continues the countdown. I’m not used to being pushed out of the store, especially when I wasn’t expecting to be. I got so frazzled. By the end I even stated to hand him my credit card when accepting the receipt. Oh I needed to get home. I figured a goods night’s sleep would calm me and it’d all be a faint memory but I am still a little frazzled today by any little thing not going smoothly, such as on the computer. Oh how one little set back can “set back” a whole life, it seems.

Breath in…Breath out…

frazzled

Last night I went to get groceries. I first went to Wal-mart for baby wipes and the store was all disarray as they were re-modeling. A good thing I suppose and it didn’t affect much which sections I needed. I walked through the clothes looking for deals and found some good ones. Tank for $1.00! Today as I tried on my “deals” I remembered my previous resolution and why that it isn’t really a deal if I’m not going to wear it because it’s not that attractive or because it doesn’t fit. Well shopping at night the dressing room was closed and being clearance items sizes were limited. I only selected those I thought were cute and would fit, but I was mistaken. I am wearing the tank today but not sure about the rest of my investments. Guess finding money I’d hidden isn’t a good find when I “blow” it. Anyways then I went over to the 24hr Kroger for food only to find they’d be closing at 11pm tonight for waxing and it was already 10:30! The girl said it was fine to go ahead on in but I quickly found out I would not be getting all my shopping done. The waxing guys had started early so dairy and frozen foods were roped off. Fortunately milk, for some reason was not located with the cheese and yogurt so I did get my number one list item. Shredded cheese however would not make it into my cart. I managed to quickly meander my way through isles I am unfamiliar with (as I usually shop at the location by my home that is not 24hr). The clerk proceeds to announce the countdown as I make my way to the front. I see all the self-checkouts are open, amazingly. But I need a real one as I had some WIC items. I track down someone to check me out as the clerk over the PA continues the countdown. I’m not used to being pushed out of the store, especially when I wasn’t expecting to be. I got so frazzled. By the end I even stated to hand him my credit card when accepting the receipt. Oh I needed to get home. I figured a goods night’s sleep would calm me and it’d all be a faint memory but I am still a little frazzled today by any little thing not going smoothly, such as on the computer. Oh how one little set back can “set back” a whole life, it seems.

Breath in…Breath out…

I need a nap…

I need a nap

couple months

on valentines we went to the bank to take out cash to buy a second vehicle, just a truck for David to take to work. Then on way home we got rear-ended! So… now we were out of our primary vehicle, still have a loan showing on credit report. We ended up using all of David’s tax money to get a car. Our insurance paid off our loan. Now we are waiting to hear from the other drivers’ insurance to see if we can recoup our tax money and still get that second vehicle. We also need other things. I haven’t been able to get a second or better job because during the week job hours don’t coincide with David’s work hours to drive both of us to and from work. Then there’s the who will watch Dante issue. So finally I found something. I can still work my weekend job but now I will also work through the week while David is at work, at my leisure scanning barcodes. The only problem is before I am officially hired I have to show proof of 100/300 auto liability insurance. I have full coverage but my liability is only like 20/40. Some companies like Safeauto don’t even offer 100/300! Well I’m going to turn in the bus agreement and say I’m having to wait until the accident stuff is all settled to get into the insurance website paperwork since they’re working on everything. I really don’t care about getting paid mileage since I figure I’d have to drive to work anyways and the one store is walking distance.

Dante turned two, I turned thirty-one, besides all that each day I pretty much still the same.

Been a long time

Haven’t written in a while. My son is a year old already! Full of character 🙂 We’re all doing well but would be doing better if I had a job again. Still life is good. My sister-in-law is pregnant so I’m excited to have another baby around without having to go through the pain myself, not that I don’t plan on more. Unfortunately they’re out of a home right now, stayed a few nights with us and are sort of floating til they can find something. Today I guess they had to lose the dog and have been pretty upset over it. My mom and dad wouldn’t take it being of the pitbull class and my cousin’s classmate was just killed by one so the painful memory is fresh on everyone’s mind and myths are hard to break thru. But I understand and anyways we’re both going to have kids and if we decide to find a place together it may be for the best in the long run though puts them out the investment of money and emotion for now. Anyways looking forward to a lot of activity as the weather warms up.

I am an emotional wreck. Again. I don’t know why he doesn’t want to spend time w

I am an emotional wreck. Again. I don’t know why he doesn’t want to spend time with me anymore. Am i too fat and ugly to stand or is it my personality? He’ll say he’s going to go do this. Ok that should be like twenty minutes but he’ll be gone for hours finding ways to not come home. He won’t make a commitment. Why? If you think you’ll leave in the future then why be with me now? What am i to you? The pain in my back has settled enough that i no longer feel as though i’m in labor but it still leaves me nauseated. It’s the pain in my heart from uncertainty the makes me cry now. I am so tired of being sick having no job being stuck at home all the time being alone getting called stupid and worse. I have always been a joyful easy going person and i’m sorry for getting emotional but i never have before i got pregnant so i’m still not used to it and it’s still not gone. Maybe i just need sleep.

Tuesday i’ll have my cancer surgery.I hope all goe…

Tuesday i’ll have my cancer surgery.I hope all goes well.Can tell hormones off cuz i never cried so much as have since had Dante.

he didn’t kiss me good-bye today.That’s a first.i …

he didn’t kiss me good-bye today.That’s a first.i know it’s hard on him that i not found job yet.i’m trying.

it’s been three days since i’ve seen my baby and i…

it’s been three days since i’ve seen my baby and i’m trying not to cry as i sit outside waiting for my Grandma to bring him home.

Guess i should start updating my blog

Today my mom came to town and she took Dante that’s my son and i to a few stores and then we had light lunch at culvers that’s not sarcastic. I had the most delicious salad.